More than half a billion seconds ago, something happened that changed my life completely. What was it? Well, to put it in simple words, I was born. The journey of millions of moments, thousands of experiences, hundreds of phases – let me recollect what it is that makes me what I am today. This person – Anurag Singh Rana – means so many things to so many people, organizations, institutions. Everyone has a definition of him in their own perspectives – an angel, a demon, a friend, an enemy, a competitor, a co-worker, a sub-ordinate, a relation, a villain, an arrogant person, a loser, a winner, an inspiration, a piece of shit.
The beginning
I was born on 30th January, 1986 at 9:29 AM IST. I was a cesarean baby, left handed by birth with a big skull. My parents were worried if I was abnormal or retarded. Till the age of 5, I used to live in a village. English wasn’t something I knew beyond rat cat bat. We used to run around in the hospital campus (my parents were posted as doctors in that place), the green fields, the village market, and the single long road (which was the highway). It was fun playing in the rain, with our legs dipped in water upto the knee, riding bicycles without holding the handle, catching baby sparrows (poor things just always died), sitting on the floor in school and writing on slates.
Moving to Indore
My mom had to pursue MS in Obstetrics and Gynaecology, so she had to move to Indore. As a by-product, I applied in various schools in Indore. I tried to mug up English sentences, and somehow made it through The Daly College. I was slowly learning urban ways, learning English. In the initial years, I used to act like a villager – discipline, table manners, English – I was far from those things. The only strengths I had were – my parents, my upbringing, my grasping power.
In the early years, I didn’t really know what friendship means. And I was very very shy. Maybe because everyone else was so urban, and I was a villager. I didn’t want to come into the limelight. All children in my school belonged to rich families, had all the luxuries. Whereas, my family was barely affording to pay the school fees. I am really thankful to my parents, that never let me feel any scarcity. Nevertheless, I learnt the value of things, the value of money, the value of morals, the value of relations.
In the journey, I found some people that have become the treasures of my life. Tapan, Aniruddha, Piyush, Rahul, Swapnil, Riya, Prerna, Vijay bhaiya, Jayant bhaiya, Chhotu – to name a few. To describe what each one means to me would need a whole blog in itself.
My life during my schooling taught me morals, discipline, English, Hindi, Geography, … , Computer Science, Chemistry, Physics, Mathematics, Civics, … and many more. I was a package oozing with energy and knowledge. I was someone without experience, without the knowledge of working under harsh conditions, under pressure, untouched by evil people, untouched by harsh realities. I had friendships, but they had not taken the test of time.
IIIT, Hyderabad
When I came to college, it was a different environment. A mixture of diverse cultures, but still very like minded people. Everyone from a science background, everyone studying computer science. I promised to myself to build a different image of myself in this new lot. A strong confident image, an extrovert, a popular guy. And as I read it somewhere, you become what you feel you are. Slowly over these years, I transformed into this new being.
I used to feel that all this happened in the blink of an eye. Today, I read through my entire blog, recollected my life in IIIT. And it was pleasantly surprising that I went through a process, an era – pressures, deadlines, fears, confusions, friendships, relations, distances, harsh conditions, competition, expectations and much more – all this shaped me into what I am today. I found some wonderful friends during my college years too.
My old friendships, and the new ones went through various phases – long distances, no contact, fights, expectations, disagreements – and some of them faded away or abruptly ended. The strong ones remained, and still do. And I thank god that all these tests of time exist. They help us figure out the real friendships, the real relations, the best friends in life.
What makes me what I am today?
To answer this, I need to answer what I am.
Anurag Singh Rana, 23 years, Male, Single, Software Engineer, Yahoo! India Research and development, Bachelor of technology in Computer Science and Engineering (Honors in Computer Vision), A Daly College Indore passout, 92% CBSE 12th Board, Secretary of the Computer Club at DC – thats pretty much my resume I guess.
Anurag Singh Rana, a great friend, a knowledgeable person, a dependable person, a sweet funny guy, a person with morals, a person who isn’t evil – thats how some people around think about me.
Anurag Singh Rana, a good(?) writer, a blogger, a person who is online 24/7, a person great at chatting, a gossiper – thats how some people online think about me.
Anurag Singh Rana, a very lively person, a joker, a person you’d want around in celebrations and outings and parties and weddings – thoughts of another set of people.
Anurag Singh Rana, a sick person, a very backward orthodox person, who doesn’t accept new ways, who is against freedom, who is very narrow-minded, who is selfish and evil – there are some people who think this too.
What has made me all this? First of all, my parents and my family. My dad who has forever been a role model for me – punctual, focused, noble, motivating, positive, morally correct, humble, down to earth, inquisitive, ever-improving – these are some of his qualities which I admire and try to inculcate in myself.
Next is my upbringing, the school, the teachers, the constraints and luxuries, the classmates, the friends – which built a solid base, a foundation of the building that is me. My college gave me the exposure, the freedom, the responsibility, a rehearsal for the real world, the power to differentiate between good and bad, decision making ability. It made me realize who are my real friends, whom can I trust and not trust.
Finally, the job at Yahoo! It was a thrilling experience, and I am still living it. This job gave me the wings to fly, to celebrate my life, to feel proud of it. It gave me the confidence – YES, I CAN.
If I try to assimilate all this, one would feel I am what makes me what I am. However, the truth is, I am a nobody if you all are not in my life – my family, my friends, my teachers, my colleagues. I am not proud because I’ve become someone superior. I am proud because you all have succeeded in your efforts, in your contributions, in your hopes. And I promise you all that I will continue to value all this, cherish every moment you all give me, and be a good person.
I am not proud of everything that happened in my life. I did mistakes, sometimes I deliberately did wrong. There are a lot of things I would like to erase from my life. And I am thankful to all of you for accepting me with all of those mistakes too. For the ones who kicked me away, I don’t give a hippos ass.
PS: This was supposed to be my birthday speech, got delayed by a few fortnights.
PS1: Start critisizing me people, or I’ll go out of control and bore you more.
PS2: Okay I am shutting up now.
ushing. All along the road, on every curve, I’m just imagining my work algorithms – sometimes barely missing dangerous accidents. The whole day I’m floating on this cloud of work, hopping from one task to another. I leave early to avoid traffic, only to have more time to work from home.
Phew! Let me take a deep breath and pause for a moment. Life is going too fast, too turbulent, too hectic, too many people, too many things to do, too many things to avoid, too much information, too much misinformation, too much of everything. I’m caught up in a turbulent river’s flow, not able to steer, just barely managing to keep myself afloat. Everyday begins in a hurry, get ready and run to office (well, not actually run, but pretty much race my bike), run back home in late evenings, rush through some pending work, and race with the night to get some sleep before its morning again.
…. competence intention trust stability happiness uncertainty fear rejection responsibility doubt myself ….. Whenever I read Devansh’s (aka Deboo) blog, I feel that I am drowning in a tag cloud of these words. As if each and every word screaming at me, urging me to understand the depth of things, the undeniable truth. Still, I let myself argue in disbelief and objection to these laws set forth before me, that define and guide the life of all human beings.
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