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Broken armor

The depiction of Spartan army in the movie 300 was particularly spectacular. According to Wikipedia, a Spartan would either return victorious or return dead from a battle. If he is missing his shield on return, it was assumed that he had fled the battle, and would be punished with death or imprisonment.

The shield was not just a personal defense mechanism, but a battle strategy used by Spartans. A group of Spartans would form a Spartan phalanx, in which every soldier protects the soldier to his left – an impenetrable formation.

I’ve been accused of switching context in my blog posts very fast, so that there is no connection between beginning and end. Well, you’ve to bear with me, my brain is totally random and so are the thoughts.

Pre-history battle context to present day metropolitan lifestyle – man has always invented (and discovered) shields to safeguard himself and things he cares about. One such invention is the “helmet”. In India, I don’t see much enthusiasm among drivers to use helmets. Perhaps they like their brains to remain free of any cages – like to feel the whiff of fresh air on their bare faces while driving.

I’ve been taught the importance of this device, not in theory but by practical experience. Imagine a long smooth road, traffic flowing at reasonably fast speeds. All thanks to our pro-active government which is always concerned about development of the nation – imagine barricades right in the middle of this road – not static, but being moved around by workers. Car A brakes from 90 kmph to 0, Car B  behind it brakes 80 kmph to 0. Oops, you’re behind that Car B, going at a good 80 kmph – the only problem being you just have two wheels, braking too hard makes you skid.

The distance between Car B and you is constantly reducing. The speed of your bike – 80, 70, 60, 50, 40 – crash! Your bike goes from 40 to 0 in one impulse. As our Newton baba had said, every moving “body” has inertia – according to that rule – “your” body flies off the bike and you hit the car with your head. What do you think – the driver is dead or alive?

Case A: There is no helmet. Just his head and the car. End of story, parents shattered, friends sad, girlfriend broken.

Case B: There is a helmet. A minor sprain on his arm, which gets fine in a week. And one year later, he is sitting and writing a blog post on helmets.

Just like the Spartan world, there is a nominal fine (and even imprisonment) for driving without helmets in most metropolitan cities. However, unlike that era – where the shield was “primarily” for safeguarding – we use helmets just to avoid the fine. Often my friends say, hey why are you taking helmet, we wont be crossing any police post while going to so and so place. The helmet is for your head, not to show to traffic policemen waiting to earn some easy money.

Okay, why is the title “broken armor”? This post is not for any of my readers, but a motivational post for myself. The helmet I use is damaged at multiple points – perhaps doesn’t really protect my head completely. Although I thank
God that it hasn’t been required to do any “protection” in the recent months, however this is a wake up call for me to get a new one as soon as possible. Keeping fingers crossed until then.

Adios.

MP 09

What comes to your mind when you read “MP 09″? Perhaps some serial number? A roll number? Number plate of a vehicle from Madhya Pradesh? The last answer is partly correct.

This is not a number plate, it is a phrase deeply connected to Indore. Its so common that people use it in sentences like “Where does this vehicle belong to? MP 09″.

Since my childhood, I’ve been living in Indore – a good 12 years – 1991 to 2003. What is so special about Indore? Nothing. It’s a “comparatively” small city, with a tiny airport, unclean railway station, crowded bus stand, a few decent malls, good roads here and there, too hot in summer; too cold in winter, power-outages, pollution, corruption, poverty, and so on.

I came to this city from a village (Sardarpur, Dhar) – no English, no etiquette, a total zero. I joined The Daly College, Indore in 1991 – class 1K. I learned new ways, made new friends, perhaps actually started speaking English for the first time here. I touched the first computer of my life in the corridors of this school – perhaps the reason why I became a software engineer lies deeply rooted in this place.

All the childhood mischief, playing cricket on evenings, racing my “un-geared” two wheeler on the roads, playing pranks – and then double crossing our allies to play a double prank – the golden days of my life perhaps. In that mischief, I found some of the greatest friends of my life – it’s just pleasantly surprising that my best friends are as old as 17 years – in my small life of 24.

The deeper I dig into memories, I just keep finding more gold in the heart of Indore – that is what it means to me, and much more which I can’t even express.

Anyways, just taking the liberty of completely flipping the topic to something else. The only vehicle that I own is a bike – it’s not hard to guess that it’s MP 09. Driving this bike in Bangalore and Hyderabad has caused me some trouble. Traffic policemen see a source of unlimited income when my bike crosses them on the road. My bike is stopped and checked many many more times than a local bike.

The procedure to stay out of trouble is as complex as it can be. If your bike has been transported to Hyderabad, don’t use it until -

  1. Madhya Pradesh RTO gives a no-objection certificate to drive it in Andhra Pradesh
  2. You pay Andhra Pradesh road tax, which can happen only after 1.

Perhaps it’s a compelling need that I break the rules, because I can’t wait 4 months for Madhya Pradesh RTO to issue a NOC. As a result, when I get “caught”, I don’t have enough documents to prove myself innocent.

Earlier, I used to be scared about the whole thing. I used to literally beg to be released, at whatever cost I need to pay. Then I realized, it’s not such a big deal. It’s only a small mistake, for which I need to pay a nominal fine, and then I can just go.

Coming to today, a similar thing happened. I was stopped and asked for documents. I promptly declared that I don’t have a NOC and I haven’t paid the road tax. The policeman started saying that they’ll seize my vehicle and I can collect it from court after paying fine. Cooperating, I readily removed the bike key from key-chain and handed it to him.

Then I inquired, what was the fine amount. He asked me what I wanted to pay. Smiling back I said, “Is it not a fixed amount according to some rule? How do I get to decide it?”. I asked him to let me know the fine, and I’ll pay that. Perhaps confused by my behavior, he suggested that I go talk to his senior.

The senior policeman asked me where my documents are, did I have a valid driving license. I showed all documents to him, again declaring that I don’t have a NOC, and didn’t pay the tax. He asserted that I need to get the NOC and pay the tax soon. I sarcastically commented saying “Sir, I don’t run the MP government. How can I control when will they issue a NOC? It has already been 4 months of waiting. I went to the RTO to pay the tax, but they need the NOC, I really can’t do much.”

“Ok, then you need to pay a fine.”

“How much is the fine amount, sir?”

“It varies. Depends, sometimes its 300, sometimes its 500, depends on the case.”

“Ok sir, whatever is the fine amount, I’m ready to pay.”

“How much will you pay?”

“(Confused) Whatever is the fine amount, sir”

“So you are sure you want to pay the fine? It’s valid only for one day.”

“Yes sir, I’ll pay the fine. And you can give me a receipt for it.”

“Ok, you need to go to the main police station to pay. Let’s go?”

“Ok sir, let’s go there.”

“So you are sure you want to pay the fine?”

“Yes sir.”

*another 10 minutes of back and forth*

“Um.. ok, this is your first time. But you need to pay the fine next time. Go now.”

“Ok, thank you sir.”

I didn’t know that being truthful and clean was so beneficial. Perhaps sometimes one has to pay a costly fine, instead of a cheap bribe – but I think it is much more satisfying and fulfilling to our souls than being a coward who bribes his way out on every corner. It also reminds the corrupt officials that they are doing wrong (or that they wont be able to earn any bribe from us), and more often than not, they just let you go without any fine or bribe!

Let’s all pledge to avoid bribing, as much as it’s humanly possible. I know we are all imperfect and weak human beings, but we should never give up trying to be better than what we are.

Adios.

Life update – March 2010

Sometimes life goes on,  days; weeks; months pass, and we fail to take notice. Time and again, I’ve a tendency to retrospect. Whether or not I  use the conclusions to adjust my life’s direction – no written rules.

For me, leaving Bangalore felt as if I am a spider who has been thrown out of its web. Slowly and steadily, I’ve started knitting a niche of life in Hyderabad. Work seems worthwhile and I look forward to make a difference each day – at work and otherwise.

So where is my life going? What are the next steps? I’ve never been able to answer this question – never in my lifetime. I didn’t become an engineer because I had planned to. I just genuinely developed liking for computers in my early years, and chose the direction my heart guided me toward. If I had listened to my mind, I would have been a doctor. Anyways, the point is, my life is going where my heart dictates..

It has been an enriching experience to get in touch with Devansh again (FYI he’s pursuing PhD in Humanities). We keep having frequent discussions on a lot of issues – can a robot feel; being aware of ‘self’; intention vs action – to name a few, most discussions revolving around human beings, their minds and phenomenon associated with them.

The most recent one – intention vs action. We were discussing my last post “Pinch of salt“. We concluded that generally we judge people by their actions, but whenever we try to justify ourselves (in others’ eyes or our own), we judge us by our intentions. “He DID this” compared to “I DID this, BUT I INTENDED to do that”.

In his opinion, if someone doesn’t live upto our expectations, there can be two reasons – wrong intentions, incompetence. In case we know that the person is incompetent (for example a small kid drops a glass), we don’t get hurt or angered. However, if we believe that the person is competent, but his intentions were wrong, we get hurt. More often than not, people intend to do good,  but aren’t skilled enough to achieve it. If we look at the world with this perspective, it feels like a much better place to live in.

Anyways,  coming back to the original topic, I’ve started to enjoy life here. Parag and gang play squash on weekends – I’m learning it too (though my leg injury is preventing me from playing too much, but I’ll be fine soon).

I’m eagerly waiting to go home, although that can happen only in May. I’ve a newly born nephew, but unfortunately I can’t see him in this state for real. The next home trip is going to be awesome – 65 days to go, 64.99999, 64.99998 … :)

PS: I hope everyone has my new cell phone number in Hyderabad. Or just ask. :D

Adios.

Same moon

Long distance relationships – they’re fun and hard at the same time. This isn’t a long philosophical post about them, so relax :-) . I just thought of something, wanted to share with you all.

“Wherever you are, we’re under the same sky looking at the same moon” – well, not really. The distance of Hyderabad from moon is perhaps slightly different from that of Bangalore.

Its not the same moon – perhaps a moon after a really small fraction of time – not the SAME moon, duh!

PS: Lovers across India-USA, you guys are doing just fine! ;-)

Identity crisis

We all like to remain in places, and among people we’re familiar with. Somewhere deep down, everyone of us dislikes a really big change. This new year has brought a plethora of changes in my life. I don’t live in Bangalore anymore, I don’t work for Yahoo! anymore, I don’t live around the same people anymore.

I feel like a 5 year old boy who doesn’t know the city roads, who needs to be guided for everything. Even simple things like “going home” seem too complicated, because I don’t know which turns to take, apart from the confusion of left or right.

I feel like a college fresher once again, the way I was when I joined Yahoo!. When I was working in Yahoo!, I was deeply involved in my project, I knew stuff, and people could depend on me. Suddenly, I’m someone who is very new, who is “learning the basics”, who needs to be spoon-fed, who can barely walk on his own.

At least on the front of people, its pretty much fine. Sure I miss being with all my buddies in Bangalore, but the folks in Hyderabad are pretty awesome. Thats the only peace of mind I have right now.

In one month, you can’t stop loving someone/something. I’ve been a proud Yahoo since ever, and its hard to stop being one. Amazon is very new to me, and I’m not involved in anything critical at the moment. This has led to an identity crisis within me, I’m no longer a part of Yahoo!, and I don’t feel a part of Amazon either.

Hopefully in the months to come, I’ll get acquainted to my new life. On a side note, how many of you have experienced such a thing?

What does Bangalore mean to me?

Yahoo! BangaloreIt is once again time for a great phase in my life to end, only to start another awesome one. About two years ago – 29th July 2007 to be precise – I landed in Bangalore to commence my first full time job. It was a dream come true to work for Yahoo!, one of the most amazing places to work at. As the company rightly puts it, “fun” is one of its core values.

The best thing about Bangalore has been its pleasant weather all year round – the summers are not too hot, accompanied by light showers in evenings; the winters are just cold enough to enjoy it; and well, rains are my favorite anywhere anytime. The crime rate “appears to be” really low, and I feel very safe living in here.

There are no words to describe the Yahoo! experience – the vast range of learning opportunities, the endless ever-increasing challenges, the zeal to make a difference, the pride Yahoos take in their products, the ever-ready to party attitude – really, no words. Every Yahoo is an amazing individual, and its been an honor.

As such, Bangalore was a completely new city for me – I didn’t know anyone here. Nonetheless, I haven’t felt lack of friends here – a dozen of IIITians, really friendly joining batch at Yahoo!, a wonderful team – it couldn’t have been better. For these two years, I’ve had another loyal friend which I didn’t mention yet. It is my bike – Bajaj Discover 135 DTSI – which has been a companion in everything I did here.

I’m really bad a remembering paths to places, and even worse in tracing the return path. Still, I feel that Bangalore is one city I know best among all the cities I’ve ever known (including Indore).

My human nature – if I can call it that – has never let me appreciate the importance and role of Bangalore in my life. Its only when time has come to depart, that I’m cherishing a wonderful part of my life in a city which is legen… wait for it… dary! Its just coincidence that its thanksgiving, but I thank everyone and everything from the bottom of my heart, for everything.

Reminds me of the song -

Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon, pal do par meri hasti hai, pal do pal meri kahani hai.
Mujhse pehle kitne shayar, aaye aur aakar chale gaye, kuch aahein bharkar laut gaye, kuch nagme gaakar chale gaye.
Wo bhi ek pal ka kissa they, main bhi ek pal ka kissa hoon, kal tumse juda ho jaoonga, jo aaj tumhara hissa hoon.
Kal aur aayenge, nagmo ki khilti kaliyan chunne wale, mujhse behtar kehne wale, tumse behtar sunne wale.
Kal koi mujhko yaad kare, kyon koi mujhko yaad kare, masroof zamana mere liye, kyon waqt apna barbaad kare.
Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon, pal do par meri hasti hai, pal do pal meri kahani hai…

Adios.

Chennai trip

Panchhee, nadiyaan, pawan ke jhoke… koi sarhad na inhein roke, Sarhadein insaano ke liye hain, socho tumne aur meine kya paya insaan hoke?Marina beach

(Translation: Birds, rivers, the wind… no border stops them. Borders are for human beings, think what did you and I gain from being human?)

These lines make their importance felt when you need to cross international borders and venture into other countries. Every country requires citizens of other countries to get a visa before entry in them. Visa – an endorsement made in a passport that allows the bearer to enter the country issuing it – this word has been governing my life since the past couple of weeks. Countries are generally too skeptical about foreigners entering their territory, and they scrutinize each and every detail (academic degrees, job letters, bank accounts, tax details, salary slips, property documents) about them before issuing a visa.

The US Embassy has its offices in various cities of India – New Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Chennai – but Bangalore is still awaiting its turn to get one. This led me to start my maiden voyage to the city of Chennai (previously Madras). After a bumpy ride in the plane, I reached the hotel on Thursday evening, along with my colleague – Kapil. The hotel room was a really enticing experience – really cozy bed, television, air conditioner, internet, in-room meals – and the ambiance was awesome.

We had an appointment at 8 AM for the visa interview. Although we reached half an hour early, the queue was long and slow moving. Eventually it was my turn for the final interview after zillions of security checks and queues. As I was going on behalf of company for official work, it wasn’t long before they approved my visa.

One thing I’d like to mention about Chennai is that roads here are cleaner, broader, less congested, well maintained. On the contrary, although its steadily improving, Bangalore has narrower roads and traffic jams are very frequent. The bus system “seemed” nice, but as I didn’t use it, I can’t give any opinion. The driver didn’t seem to understand Hindi at all, not even a word. Since ever I’ve known about this city, I’ve heard that people here don’t like Hindi speaking visitors. They pretend not to understand Hindi even if they do, and discriminate against them. I really wanted to find out the truth, but I didn’t get the right circumstances in this trip.

After checking out of the hotel at 11 AM, we had a whole day left with us and company car at our disposal. We decided to see the Marina beach, as most people had asked us specifically to see the beaches. This beach is really huge, both in width and length. The sand is unbearably hot near the city end, and it gets wetter and cooler as we approach the sea. At first, we removed our shoes and took walks near the coastline, where very diminished waves touch the toes.

Nearby, other groups were undressing and going into deeper water – splashing the water and having fun. Tempted by the whole scenario, we decided to do the same. We walked into the water – till a point that we felt was safe enough to stand at – and faced the waves splashing all over us. Many-a-time a wave would come,  go over our heads and throw us back towards the land. Unrelenting, we’d again get up, hold hands and walk into the water for the next wave.

I tried to build castles in the sand, but every-time I’d finish building one wall, a wave came and washed away the whole thing. It was fun trying to protect the castle with my body, but still the wave won eventually. After playing in the water for a couple of hours, we decided to dry up and go elsewhere. A layer of salt had deposited on my body everywhere, and I can’t even tell you where all the sand got into.

After dressing back and shuddering off the sand, we commuted towards the City Center Mall. It has been so many years that we’ve been seeing malls, and this was just like any other. Too many shops, too many people, food courts at the top floor, a multiplex inside – all things you’d expect from a mall. Apparently the mall was constructed very recently, but the building has been given a positively antediluvian look.

It was 3:30 PM by the time we were finished roaming the mall. As there was not much time left for the return flight, we decided to take away some burgers and cold drinks from KFC. We reached the airport well in advance and waited for the boarding announcement. In an hour, the plane landed at the Bengaluru International Airport. It was a relief in terms of the weather – 24 degrees celcius, and really pleasant. Chennai on the other hand was really humid, and it was hard to pass the day as we’re accustomed to this pleasant weather in Bangalore.

On a different note, Kolkata is the only metropolitan city in India, that I’m yet to visit. Lets see when that happens.

Happy weekend, adios!

Turbulence

PausePhew! Let me take a deep breath and pause for a moment. Life is going too fast, too turbulent, too hectic, too many people, too many things to do, too many things to avoid, too much information, too much misinformation, too much of everything. I’m caught up in a turbulent river’s flow, not able to steer, just barely managing to keep myself afloat. Everyday begins in a hurry, get ready and run to office (well, not actually run, but pretty much race my bike), run back home in late evenings, rush through some pending work, and race with the night to get some sleep before its morning again.

Well, actually, I took a break a week ago – a full 10 day vacation sitting at home. Many reasons, including but not limited to, my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary, my cousin brother’s 1st wedding anniversary and another cousin’s birthday. Along with that, I got my tooth (rather teeth) drilled and filled with cement. I know, I know, I should brush and all, and I do that, they were just long pending tooth decay.

Anyway, coming back to the main topic, May 2009 seems like a busy unending vicious circle. Everyday, I go towards office thinking that this will be the day I’ll finally solve the challenging problems I am facing. Every evening I return from office, thinking that I’ll catch up with more friends, finish some personal work, read a book perhaps and write on this blog. Every night, I sleep thinking that I’ll be able to get enough sleep and tomorrow will be better. I need a teeny-weeny break to break this chain. To make things start rolling again.

Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow. Adios.

23 years of my life

AnuragMore than half a billion seconds ago, something happened that changed my life completely. What was it? Well, to put it in simple words, I was born. The journey of millions of moments, thousands of experiences, hundreds of phases – let me recollect what it is that makes me what I am today. This person – Anurag Singh Rana – means so many things to so many people, organizations, institutions. Everyone has a definition of him in their own perspectives – an angel, a demon, a friend, an enemy, a competitor, a co-worker, a sub-ordinate, a relation, a villain, an arrogant person, a loser, a winner, an inspiration, a piece of shit.

The beginning

I was born on 30th January, 1986 at 9:29 AM IST. I was a cesarean baby, left handed by birth with a big skull. My parents were worried if I was abnormal or retarded. Till the age of 5, I used to live in a village. English wasn’t something I knew beyond rat cat bat. We used to run around in the hospital campus (my parents were posted as doctors in that place), the green fields, the village market, and the single long road (which was the highway). It was fun playing in the rain, with our legs dipped in water upto the knee, riding bicycles without holding the handle, catching baby sparrows (poor things just always died), sitting on the floor in school and writing on slates.

Moving to Indore

My mom had to pursue MS in Obstetrics and Gynaecology, so she had to move to Indore. As a by-product, I applied in various schools in Indore. I tried to mug up English sentences, and somehow made it through The Daly College. I was slowly learning urban ways, learning English. In the initial years, I used to act like a villager – discipline, table manners, English – I was far from those things. The only strengths I had were – my parents, my upbringing, my grasping power.

In the early years, I didn’t really know what friendship means. And I was very very shy. Maybe because everyone else was so urban, and I was a villager. I didn’t want to come into the limelight. All children in my school belonged to rich families, had all the luxuries. Whereas, my family was barely affording to pay the school fees. I am really thankful to my parents, that never let me feel any scarcity. Nevertheless, I learnt the value of things, the value of money, the value of morals, the value of relations.

In the journey, I found some people that have become the treasures of my life. Tapan, Aniruddha, Piyush, Rahul, Swapnil, Riya, Prerna, Vijay bhaiya, Jayant bhaiya, Chhotu – to name a few. To describe what each one means to me would need a whole blog in itself.

My life during my schooling taught me morals, discipline, English, Hindi, Geography, … , Computer Science, Chemistry, Physics, Mathematics, Civics, … and many more. I was a package oozing with energy and knowledge. I was someone without experience, without the knowledge of working under harsh conditions, under pressure, untouched by evil people, untouched by harsh realities. I had friendships, but they had not taken the test of time.

IIIT, Hyderabad

When I came to college, it was a different environment. A mixture of diverse cultures, but still very like minded people. Everyone from a science background, everyone studying computer science. I promised to myself to build a different image of myself in this new lot. A strong confident image, an extrovert, a popular guy. And as I read it somewhere, you become what you feel you are. Slowly over these years, I transformed into this new being.

I used to feel that all this happened in the blink of an eye. Today, I read through my entire blog, recollected my life in IIIT. And it was pleasantly surprising that I went through a process, an era – pressures, deadlines, fears, confusions, friendships, relations, distances, harsh conditions, competition, expectations and much more – all this shaped me into what I am today. I found some wonderful friends during my college years too.

My old friendships, and the new ones went through various phases – long distances, no contact, fights, expectations, disagreements – and some of them faded away or abruptly ended. The strong ones remained, and still do. And I thank god that all these tests of time exist. They help us figure out the real friendships, the real relations, the best friends in life.

What makes me what I am today?

To  answer this, I need to answer what I am.

Anurag Singh Rana, 23 years, Male, Single, Software Engineer, Yahoo! India Research and development, Bachelor of technology in Computer Science and Engineering (Honors in Computer Vision), A Daly College Indore passout, 92% CBSE 12th Board, Secretary of the Computer Club at DC – thats pretty much my resume I guess.

Anurag Singh Rana, a great friend, a knowledgeable person, a dependable person, a sweet funny guy, a person with morals, a person who isn’t evil – thats how some people around think about me.

Anurag Singh Rana, a good(?) writer, a blogger, a person who is online 24/7, a person great at chatting, a gossiper – thats how some people online think about me.

Anurag Singh Rana, a very lively person, a joker, a person you’d want around in celebrations and outings and parties and weddings – thoughts of another set of people.

Anurag Singh Rana, a sick person, a very backward orthodox person, who doesn’t accept new ways, who is against freedom, who is very narrow-minded, who is selfish and evil – there are some people who think this too.

What has made me all this? First of all, my parents and my family. My dad who has forever been a role model for me – punctual, focused, noble, motivating, positive, morally correct, humble, down to earth, inquisitive, ever-improving – these are some of his qualities which I admire and try to inculcate in myself.

Next is my upbringing, the school, the teachers, the constraints and luxuries, the classmates, the friends – which built a solid base, a foundation of the building that is me. My college gave me the exposure, the freedom, the responsibility, a rehearsal for the real world, the power to differentiate between good and bad, decision making ability. It made me realize who are my real friends, whom can I trust and not trust.

Finally, the job at Yahoo! It was a thrilling experience, and I am still living it. This job gave me the wings to fly, to celebrate my life, to feel proud of it. It gave me the confidence – YES, I CAN.

If I try to assimilate all this, one would feel I am what makes me what I am. However, the truth is, I am a nobody if you all are not in my life – my family, my friends, my teachers, my colleagues. I am not proud because I’ve become someone superior. I am proud because you all have succeeded in your efforts, in your contributions, in your hopes. And I promise you all that I will continue to value all this, cherish every moment you all give me, and be a good person.

I am not proud of everything that happened in my life. I did mistakes, sometimes I deliberately did wrong. There are a lot of things I would like to erase from my life. And I am thankful to all of you for accepting me with all of those mistakes too. For the ones who kicked me away, I don’t give a hippos ass.

PS: This was supposed to be my birthday speech, got delayed by a few fortnights.

PS1: Start critisizing me people, or I’ll go out of control and bore you more.

PS2: Okay I am shutting up now.