Archive for » 2006 «

Operating systems, iYum and Flash 9

Introduction – Operating systems and me

Its been long since I wrote an entry here, but this one has a purpose rather than being a pass time. I’ve always been interested in operating systems. Ever since I knew about computers, I wanted to make my own operating system. MSDOS used to be my dream at a time, then Windows 3.1, then Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME, Windows 2000, Windows Xp, Redhat 7.2, Redhat 7.3, Redhat 9, Fedora Core 2, Fedora Core 4, Ubuntu, Kubuntu and now Fedora Core 5. I’ve been updating my knowledge at each step, changing the dream everytime.

BASIC and the OS dream

In the beginning when we began with ‘BASIC’ (Beginners All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code), we learnt to write ‘graphical’ programs in it. We wondered that all world has been programmed in BASIC and that learning to create a ‘WINDOW’ using the graphics of BASIC will enable us to write an operating system. As if thats the only missing link in our knowledge. Back then, our computer instructors used to say that operating systems are very complex things and can’t be made by someone as such. I accepted his point of view, but didn’t let the dream die.

When I came to IIIT

When I entered IIIT, the exposure to a new environment, different from the old and familiar Windows, which I had been used to since 1994, gave a new outlook to the whole thing. And the fact that Linus was able to make an OS of his own made my will even stronger. Though now we know that Linus only made the ‘kernel’ of the whole operating system, which is only about 3% of it (I read it somewhere).

Anyways, this was just to tell you about my strong desire to work in the field of operating systems, though I haven’t been able to do so. This was also to tell you about my familiarity with both platforms, as some people stereotype me as a ‘Linux person’. I use what I like more and its not completely impossible that I’ll switch to Windows Vista if I find it better.

iYum Repository

When Sugandh mailed about having a IIIT Yum repository, I was very excited about it. I had some idea about it. Initially, Sagar and I began working on making the Yum Repository for Fedora Core 5 – 32 bit. Sugandh talked to the faculty and got us resources. We installed a new system there, and I wrote some shell scripts initially. Later Sagar helped me out with some python too. Finally we made a mechanism to create Fedora Core 5 -32 bit repository. It downloaded about 7700 packages from the internet, about 12 GB of data.

And a set back

But you see, bad scripting and organisation resulted in a catastrophy. The script automatically deleted all packages naming them as ‘old versions’. This was a huge set-back. We decide to revive. I am very good at this I’d admit – reviving. People generally lose interest, hope, faith – after a crash. I, on the other hand, rebegin from wherever it is. Even if it means building from ground up.

Reviving

Sagar almost lost faith, while I was getting fascinated by the whole thing. It opened a new path of imagination for me. Besides, I was getting in touch with the power of Python, which I never acknowledged or experienced before. I designed a new mechanism for the Yum Repository.

New plan

Why should Yum Repository download all packages from everywhere? Why should it download any RPM for Fedora Core 2 if there isn’t any PC running it? Why should 100 others with Fedora Core 5 wait because Fedora Core 2 is being updated? Everything was so straightforward, ask the users to generate the requirement, and download only that.

The design
I designed the two tier architecture of the iYum network. The client runs a service in the background, constantly reading what packages the server ‘can’ download, comparing with what packages are old or not-installed. It sends back a list of those packages to the server. The server process combines the lists from various users and downloads the requirements. Thus, an automated system takes birth, which can expand itself as an when needed, as well as shrink itself when a particular operating system is getting obsoleted.

The actual work

I kept on telling Sagar to work, but he had his other commitments like his DIP project, BTP, etc. So, slowly and gradually, I coded the entire thing. The iYum client service, made in Python as well as the whole server and its webpages. The iYum client is currently a non-GUI thing, but my vision is to make it into something like synaptic or yumex. I might use yumex code to do so too. Anyways this is just a dream.

Flash player 9

Adobe took over Macromedia. The new version of Flash, Flash 8 came into picture. But, as Linux is not a popular platform, they didn’t work towards developing a version for it too. As a result, all Linux users were forced to use the old version, Flash 7. Many internet sites insisted on Flash 8, like the popular news site, www.ibnlive.com. Finally, Adobe has kept its promise to release a version 9 for Linux. It prerelease versions include a browser plugin and a standalone utility to run Flash 9 on Windows, Mac and Linux. Enjoy! Here is the link.

BTP

On 9 of October was a great day for me. Jawahar sir scolded me like anything for not working on the project. Initially I was very depressed and angry, but now I am happy that he did so. It brought me on the right track again, the track of working! He explained me very nicely about the BTP viva and report today, and about the future plans. I’ll be giving it my best during these couple of days. Wish me luck!

Fedora Core 6 and Vista

I heard FC6 was coming today, haven’t seen any news about it. The Fedora website is down for maintainance. Regarding Windows Vista, I am very keen. Recently I’ve read many blogs supporting and against Vista. I want to see what has Microsoft offered this time. Hopefully it’ll be something good.

Anyways, bye for now. Ciao.

Another combo post :D

Its not fair. I write so less these days and most of the posts are just a sum total of the past days. Anyways, what can I do, lets continue the trend.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is a busy day. I have to prepare a BTP presentation, a Advanced Graphics course presentation along with normal classes (read it as one class at 11). The upcoming matches from 7th of this month is to be recorded match-by-match on the tv.iiit.ac.in server. Yes!! The same old server which people enjoyed. We are working on the audio-video sync of the recording system these days. Hopefully after the series, the server will be open for the public.

This week

Well, I’ve to finish a lot of things this week. There is a pile of backlog for the Cognitive science course and a pending GPU assignment. We’ve set up a YUM REPOSITORY SERVER for IIIT. But mirroring 12 repositories for 6 platforms is a wastage of disk space and bandwidth. As a result, we are working on a better mechanism to create the repository. Sagar and I are jointly working on the project to come up with something good. Lets see what do we make.

This month

Diwali is ‘scheduled’ this month. And its been 3 long months since I went home. I came to college on 7th of July 2006 and today is 4th of October 2006. I’m thinking to go home from 16th to 22nd of this month. As a result I’ve to skip a few classes and also finish the BTP final report beforehand, which is to be submitted on 24th of this month. Hopefully Jawahar sir will allow me to go home. I have to restart the work on the 4th semester 4 credit Mobile Blogging software project. The placements have come very near, and I need to have a clean marksheet.

Qt 4

Wow! This new thing is such a marvel. Initially I used to hate it, because I didn’t understand how to use it. But now I am familiar with the Ui namespace, resource files and other fundas, it feels good. For starters, let me tell you a good news. In Qt 3, if we created a Ui from Qt designer, and edited the header and sources generated using the uic command, the ui files used to overwrite them next time we needed to change something in Ui. Now, they’ve separated Ui component from the functionality code. As a result, the programmer can completely rely for Ui on Qt4 designer and on his code for the rest of it. Another good thing is resources. Now we can define the resources like images, text files used by the application we develop. All of them will get embedded inside the executable itself. As a result, we need to ship only single files instead of zip archives.

My experiments – Embedder

I was thinking about making something like ‘setup.exe’ of windows. Generally linux setups come as tar archives or like rpm files. Almost nothing (except jdk setups, etc) come like a single setup file which handles everything. I wrote a command line utility as the first steps to generate something similar for linux. The command is called ‘createArchive’. This command takes two arguments, name of a new executable and a resource file. The resource file contains a list of files, both executable and ordinary. The command reads all files given in the resource file and finally creates an executable by the name as specified. This new executable contains all the files embedded in itself. Upon execution, this executable creates a temporary directory in /tmp and extracts all the files. It then executes the executables in a specified order. It has options of ‘quiet’ and ‘destroy extracted files on exit’ too. You can try this too. Download the files from here. It works on Linux, but is pretty much platform independent, most of if is just CORE C++. Maybe you can try it on windows as well. Does “FILE * fp;” work on windows? Sorry, the code isn’t documented (at all).

Movies

Ok, not many in the list. Lage Raho Munnabhai has been the favorite since a few days. I don’t know if the director had any intention to spread the gandhigiri, but I can see it already spreading (at least in orkut profiles). What I think one should notice is that the ‘noble thought’ is being internalized and understood by someone who has been violent and aggressive all the time, a gunda. If such a person can understand the words of truth and non-violence, we, the ordinary people ought to.

Blogging – bring me back

Oh its been so long since I last visited my blog or someone elses. I am like out of the blogging world. Not that I am busy or something, but I do other things more often. They include movies, orkutting, chatting, working on the YUM REPO, etc. And rest of the time I am outside my room doing some other activities. Lets see if I revert back with this opening post. Actually I was considering of creating a private blog as well, or making this one private or something similar. I think a lot of my thoughts don’t find place in this open blog. Maybe its too early to let my ideas open for the public to read and judge.

Conclusion

Ok fine, now that I wrote a post, I have to have a conclusion. There is nothing to conclude though. Welcome me back to the blogging world. Hopefully going home this diwali. And well keep your fingers crossed for the upcoming YUM REPOSITORY and TV.IIIT.AC.IN.

Ciao.

I love my India

A picture is worth a thousand words, needless to say anything more now.

I love my India

Hello…. come back….

Yesterday I was discussing about something relating to how a person can remain stable and well-balanced and calm and all. (I am not claiming that I am any of these, but whats the problem in giving phokat ki edhvaaees. So I told her about how I think about my childhood, schooling, college life, friends and her. After that we simply said bye and got back to work/sleep, etc.

In the dream last night, I saw my school’s vice-principal Mr. Dixit and a lot of my classmates, a girl from commerce section that I still can’t remember the name of and my grandma’s village house. Everyone was looking so so realistic with such great detail of their faces as if I remember them perfectly and I met them very recently. I could even see the pupils of the girl’s eye, which I guess were similar to the actual ones (though the ones when I used to ‘see’ her in school, no pun intended).

I mean, here we are not talking about the girl, so come out of that. I am saying that, what a wonderful thing our subconscious mind is. Just because I was thinking about the old memories, it played an old tape from its archives for me, in the dream. And well, it wasnt an old tape playing, rather it animated a fresh scene for me using all the information it stored, back then. Ok fine, the whole ‘greatness’ of subconscious isn’t very useful for any practical uses, but just a thought.

—-

I’ve been reading a lot about booting, MBR, partition tables, filesystems, kernel, init, NTFS, FAT, LBA, CHS, ext3, WinFS, and what not. Most of it is circling around Operating Systems. Someone just shake me up and tell me to do VISION. I need to finish up my BTP for presentation tomorrow. And I haven’t reached a level yet. Anyways, this was just a quick update from me. Will keep you posted.

Oh, and totally forgot to mention this. I have decided to drop plans for attempting GRE. I am now going to get fully dedicated on my BTP, courses and the placements too. I hope I get somewhere decent. I could aim high, but I don’t want to get REALLY disappointed at the end, so I’ll just say for the time being that any decent ‘paying’ company would do. YES, anyone which pays good enough.

And please don’t ask, will you do a job in Microsoft? YES I’ll do it. Just because I ‘like’ ‘using’ Linux doesn’t make me not eligible for working in a company which pays overwhelmingly high. I’ll do anything for money, ;)

Ciao.

Tagged??

I don’t know whats TAGGING or TAGGED and stuff. I was just reading Sumeet’s blog and saw that he was tagged or something. And I saw that at the end he has TAGGED me. I went and asked him the whole funda. So, according to him, I am supposed to answer this questionaire and forward it to someone else. Here it goes…
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on a random page and find random line..

Do you remember when you bought, or comtemplated buying, a new car?
Word Power Made Easy by Norman Lewis
(Yeah, am trying to try to mug up some words…lol)

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can

Just got my room cleaned…. a lotta free space in here… :D

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

The song ‘No way no way’ from ‘Anthony kaun hai?’ on MTV

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?

11:40 AM

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

11:56 AM … wow!! I am so bad at remembering time… just saw the watch before taking this questionaire.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Nothing! The wing is unusually calm!! :O

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Went to brush at 10 AM. Am soooooo lazy hehehe.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

I looked at my monitor and the lovely ‘wallpaper’ on it ;)

9. What are you wearing?

Shorts and T shirt

10. Did you dream last night?

I dreamt that I was chatting with my dad… which has happened like only twice in this whole lifetime till now..!!

11. When did you last laugh?

Don’t remember… been a lil sad these days :D

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Dead bodies of insects… some marks left by the tapes that were stuck… cracks …. just removed all my posters and all…. :(

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Well… cant even think of anything wierd… wierd isn’t it?

14. What do u think of this quiz?

Quiz? Is it a quiz? Its more like an interview :D

15. What is the Last film u saw?

Omkara …. the a-shade-less-than-DVD print… with ok ok video and crappy audio x-(

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?

I dunno… I need a bike and a Ford Icon… and maybe build another floor for my home… and surely wanna help some needy ppl.. dunno how :)

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.

Well… Sumeet… you know almost everything… :) .. and I wont tell you the rest of the ‘details’ .. nice try :D

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

I wanna have a world without the border disputes between India and Pakistan…

19. Do you like to dance?

Like to… well thats tricky… YEAH I do.. But you see am not a professional dancer.. or rather not even a dancer… so I prefer doing it in private ;)

20. George Bush

Screwed the world.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

I’ve already thought about it.. I’ll call her Mahfooza…. hopefully… if my wife agrees too :)
Mahfooza Rana wont go… so maybe we’ll come up with something else :D

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Never imagined that… !! :D .. it’ll be a gal.. come on :)

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yeah why not… I’d love to. I mean I don’t have these ‘principles’ that I’ll live in India and stuff. But then I might feel homesick and return.. :)

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

I don’t think there is anything like that. Everything that IS is just in this world.

25. People who may do this memo in their journal.

Didn’t get the question. But if you mean people who take this quiz… then … well.. who have a lil time to spend outta their busy schedules :)

So, thats it, now my turn to TAG!! Wow!… I don’t even know how many people will actually read it and reply to tag or whatever you call it. So here is my list (skipping people who have been tagged by Sumeet)

IV … lets see what the bond has to write … AAAAAAIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV :D

Hari puttar lets see what paaji writes… :)

Pati … ok this one is a brave attempt… awaiting acceptence :D

Gokool lets see what are the ‘optimists’ thoughts :D

Beegle …. something techno expected :D

Ok fine.. as instructed.. I’ve put Five people on the TAG list. Ohh, and here are some specially invited/tagged :D

Gautam …. the coolant guy :) …. would love to know what he would answer… hey gimme the link to your blog

and last but not the least ….

Nidhi …. lets see how a PROFESSIONAL would reply :)

Ok thats it for this time. Am busy trying to study for GRE as you all know. Shamefully hopelessly failing to do so though, but I’ll keep trying. Rest in another post, and I promise wont delay it a lot.

Ciao.

Backlog

So, its been over a month without a single blog. Great! Actually I didn’t feel like blogging these days. Some of it was due to some personal reasons, and most of the time in the later part of July, it was due to lack of motivation. Anyways, what I remembered is that it just takes a fresh start to make things roll again. Here is the fresh start.

Let me tell you things in the reverse order. Right now I’ve just returned from my class, Middleware Systems. It was a very hectic day today, hypothetically. I haven’t done much work today practically. NOW I have to do some wordlists for GRE. Phew, god help me.

This week

I have behaved quite complacently this week. Most of it is due to the fact that most people around me are attempting their GRE in August, while I am attempting it in September. Hence, the complacency. The Barrons GRE book, as they call it, contains 50 wordlists, each having about 75 words. That makes it 3700+, wow! I haven’t even done 200 of them. Hope I get a little more sincere on that front.

Last month

The month of July has been easy going. Not many classes, unneccessarily delaying the project work, not doing any GRE preparation has been the norm. All my classes are scheduled after lunch this semester, except one on Wednesdays. Hence, sleeping late and getting up late has become the ruitine. Well, and I explain it as taking rest after the tight schedule in the internship.

Post Noida

I already mentioned how nice was my trip to Noida. Thanks to Rakhi ma’am and Deepak sir for the kind remarks. After my return my Noida, most of the days back home were spent in roaming around with my friends. And then, an unplanned return to IIIT, which I realized was unneeded. I could have easily spent another week at home. Those few days living in the campus were painful, after knowing the biting reality.

Room shift
I shifted to a new room, OBH 110. Great room it is, the room of my pal, Arun. Apart from a screeching door and an almirah without any hanging rod, its quite cozy in here. Its in the front wing in OBH. Ravi Shankar often claims that girls come for breakfast at the exact time he is leaving for a shower, so that they can have a glance at him, half naked in a towel. I don’t know how true is that, hehe. Other things are great about this room. With Ashish in the adjacent room, and Devansh around the corner, its always fun time and guidance to this poor soul. And well, teasing and irritating Ravi is like a everyday timepass.

Courses

Not very many, just 4 courses this semester. And most of them are not much into the technical side.

A perspective to Industry and Society – As the name suggests, this one is a pure philosophy subject, just write what you want in the answer sheet kind of subject. Most classes are just fun.

Introduction to Cognitive Science – Ok, no need to think it like a real course with some matter to mug up and all. Its like a discussion forum. The only constraint is the topic is chosen by the course outline. Rest of it is just the way you make it. We are divided into groups of 15 each and have group discussions on topics like human vision in 3D, illusions and stuff. Most of it is fun.

Middleware systems - This one is a great one. Real tech thingi involved, all Java, Corba, .NET, J2EE and stuff. We learn some really useful tools and concepts and well we have a project to do too. Will also learn Java in the process. Nice one it is.

Advanced topics in Graphics – This one is like a learning and experimentation based one. Most of it is related to OpenGL and GPU programming. Today was the first class, so can’t write much about it. Its going to be a great experience I think.

Projects

Eh, this is the area I am lagging. Too many projects have aggromerated (hope the usage is correct). The BTP, Mobile Blogger (4th sem project), Visual Tracking (5th sem honors project), Computer Vision course project, isn’t four enough? Hope I get to some serious work.

Fedora Core 5

Since long I have been getting irritated with Random Hangups and Freezes with FC5. I just upgraded the kernel from 2.6.16 to 2.6.17 and the hangups disappeared. It seems there was some problem in the kernel and its ATI drivers or something. The issue has been resolved in the newer version.

KDE 3.5.3

Upgraded to this new KDE after I reached college. Its simply awesome. You would say it has copied stuff from XP, but the konqueror with its metabar and the capability to play video previews (actually play the video as a preview, pause, ffwd, rew, stop) is great. It supports ALL formats supported by MPLAYER, i.e. MPEG, AVI, ASF, RM, RA, RAM, anything, you just name it and it plays. And the KBFX menu (with the normal K-menu is great), actually the button looks cool, hehe. Rest of it pretty much similar to 3.5.

Conclusion

GRE is my priority. Others are my projects. The courses are easy going so need not bother much. And well, my readers, sorry to keep you waiting…. please come back.

Ciao.

Wrapping up

So finally my days in Delhi (or rather Noida) have come to an end. Just another 3 days to go. The project work finally got completed. Though we kept thinking about improvements, but nothing seemed to make it any better. I completed documenting it in doxygen, commenting the code and also a general writeup about the whole thing. Since about two days, I’ve been looking for work to do. There is really nothing left now. I’ve to still keep coming to office for the next 3 days from 10 to 6.

Independent for the first time

Past two months have been great. Landing in a new city alone for the first time, looking for a place to live without dad to help me out, roaming in unknown places using maps, asking people around, etc. Then, in the middle came the big tension of being extravagent. So from 21st of May, I decided to write down every transaction and expenditure, be it as less as 1 INR. Now, not only do I have a log of the expenditures till 17 June, but also a log of the places I went to, where did I eat, from where to where did I travel and by what means. This log isn’t of much importance in the sense of money matters, but I’ll still go through it once to recall everything.

Places I visited

I saw some new places in Delhi. I had visited Delhi before this only once, and I remember to have visited India Gate and Qutub Minar. This time I went to see public places like Cannaught place, Palika Bazar, Metro, Lotus temple, India Gate, Appu ghar and Oysters park, PVR Priyas, PVR Spice, and CS Mall in Noida. I also went to a pub for the first time in my life, namely TGI Fridays and Aliens Foot. I also went to a disc for the first time in my life here. Its named RPM.

I didn’t go to

Well, even this time I didn’t see Delhi completely. I missed seeing Akhshardham temple, Gurgaon, Red fort, Chandni chauk, and whatever places I didn’t mention in the above list. I’ll come here soon. Lets see.

People I met

I met quite a number of new people in this place. One of them is my dear net friend, sms friend, phone friend and now a friend-in-person, Snopy aka Alvy. She is a nice girl, too bindaas and all. Sometimes forgets me for weeks in her careless attitude. But thats okay, shes expected to act dumb and careless hehe.

I came to know some students from IITs who are interns here. They are Sandeep and Rohit. Most of my interaction in this office has been confined to Sandeep since a few days. He is a nice simple guy with no worries in life. He can be naughty at times, and irritating. But he is nice. And well he is good at maths too. At least faster than me in algebra. He has been a great help in solving some of the complex equation which play a major role in my project.

I came to know Phanindra aka Phani. He is one of my seniors from IIIT and my project lead too. He is too nice and friendly to be called a project leader. He has been working on this project of mine as a partner rather. And its so easy to approach him, talk to him, roam around, eat bhuttas, sit adjacent in movies (company outing… movie: Fanaa). Nikhil keeps teasing him all the time, hehe. He is a great guy and I like him as well as respect him.

I met Piyush sir again. He is as he was, nice, friendly and with a great voice. Even here he is a bond and people approach him for tricky problems. Though I didn’t interact much on the project front, but he has been a help in some of the problems I faced.

I met another great guy called Gautam. Another Linux lover like me. Actually a pure linux user unlike me. He is also nice, friendly, casual, jovial natured. Sits right behind me and keeps talking about Linux and related stuff. He has suggested me to try out Gentoo. Lets see if I get my hands on it sometime. We also went to a movie together.

Though I didn’t meet Dipinder (whos the head here), but still all of us admire his communication skills and the way he makes everyone feel comfortable. It has been a nice experience to work with him. Also I met our HR manager, Miss Rakhi. She has been more like a school teacher, pushing small kids to work. But then now when I think about it, I can only smile about it.

Other people I came into contact, which were again employees of Kritikal are Tarun, NS sir, NT sir, Deepak sir, and others. They all have been nice and friendly too.

I didn’t meet

I didn’t meet the only person who knew me from back home in Delhi. That is Anurag bhaiya. He is one of our neighbours back home and works in Airtel here. He was supposed to be the first one to be contacted after landing in Delhi. But I haven’t met him yet, though we talked on phone as late as June! I haven’t ever seen him in my lifetime though.

What did I get

I got a new experience of being independent. I learnt how to manage money and maybe sometimes spending it mindlessly. I learnt how to bargain in Palika bazar. I learnt to be punctual, come on time, keep working during working hours and leave on time.

I understood some new concepts in opencv, doxygen and linux. I came to use NFS which I hadn’t seen anywhere in college. I learnt from Phani, how to plan and work, instead of working in any random direction.

Whats next?

Now, I am returning home on 1 July by Intercity express. I’ll reach there by 2nd noon. Then I’ll meet friends and family, fill up my GRE form, and leave for IIIT by 5th or so. I’ve to rebegin my Computer Vision project there. And I have to complete my J2ME project. I’ve to talk to Jawahar sir for leaving in the middle and restart work on the BTP too. Next semester is going to be light. Less subjects, less working days. I might be able to sneak out to home in the middle if the schedule is less busy. Lets see.

Conclusion

These days in Noida have been wonderful. Some of them were somewhere in the dreamworld. Some of them were sad and rude. But most have been good, full of energy, zeal to work, some fun days with friends, and what not. I am going to leave Noida in a happy note. Three cheers for Noida, Kritikal, these days and me.

Hip hip hurray !! Hip hip hurray !! Hip hip hurray !! :)

Ciao.

Live in reality

If we put on pink colored glasses, everything looks pink. If its just momentary, then we remember whats reality. But then, if we keep them on for like two days, we might start thinking that the world is pink. Its only when the rosy glasses come out that you see the reality. Its not that the reality is worse than the rosy world. There are more colors in the real world per say. So, there are advantages and disadvantages.

Last month, I sneaked out for a movie in office hours. I thought that all people have been so good to me. So no one will bother if I took a little break. But I had broken rules. Immediately the HR manager called me up and asked me to return. That day one of the rosy glasses got shattered. I came to the realities of working in a company. That day I was very angry with her, but then today I realize that its better to remain in senses that to go into the rosy world and then shatter it.

Every person is different in their own way. And everyone has a certain opinion towards you. Everyone has a degree of closeness to you, from either side. Everyone has some things which are their own. Some people come so close that there is nothing hidden. Whereas in some other cases, a person maintains a protective canopy around him/her so that we can’t go beyond it.

If we keep living with a world in which all people are very close to you, you expect that everyone of them will tell you everything. But we’re not some colgate packets made in bulk. Every human is designed in a unique way. Having high expectations, and having expectations beyond a limit can be really dangerous. Not only can it lead to quarrel but it will then shatter your rosy glasses. This time its not just removing them, but shattering them, so that the glass pieces pierce your eyes and blood starts dripping.

Maybe you’ll feel I am sad or angry. But I am actually relieved. I’ve managed to survive after something similar happened to me. And now, I swear I’ll never leave the reality. I’ll not fall for fancy looking words. I’ll stick to hard facts. I’ll live in this real world. Maybe its bad, harsh, rude or anything. Maybe there is loneliness, sadness, pain. But at least I know its for real.

Stateless and stateful

Mathematical functions are stateless. Something like sin (0) is 0, cos (0) is 1 and so on. Mathematics is such a pure mechanism that everything has an 'exact' proof. But most things in life aren't like that. Most things give different results at different times.

Try this out. Go and ask someone his name. The replies could go something like this.

Whats your name? Anurag.

Whats your name? Anurag.

Whats your name? (louder) Anurag.

Whats your name? Anurag Singh Rana.

Whats your name? (clearly one word at a time) Anurag Singh Rana.

Whats your name? are you mad? Buzz off.

Now try some maths.  Open your calculator.

2+2? 4

2+2? 4

2+2? 4

2+2? 4

2+2? 4

4 ….. till the battery is down ;)  

Anyways, this was to demonstrate that the state of a person/object plays an important role on how it reacts. Even in programs, an object of some class returns different values based on its state (namely the data members).

It is very necessary to understand the state of a person before you interact with him/her. Some people understand it well. And some others are more like stateless machines. They think that human behavior matters only because of 'big' events in life, like some calamity or some great success. They fail to notice the minor variations due to things as minute as a friendly glance.

But this state itself can be a problem sometimes. A bad mood can make a small problem look like a huge hurdle. It can make people take decisions as big as committing suicide. When one is busy in work, it doesn't matter if he is sad. Its because slowly he'll forget the problems and get involved in work. But when someone is alone, or missing someone, its a different story all together. He/she has nothing else to do but keep thinking. With a bad mood and empty mind, only negative thoughts accumulate. He/she fails to look at the good things happening in his/her life and begins to cry about the bad happenings and unfair things in life.

This pattern suggests that some part of every person is stateful and some part is stateless. Being completely stateless makes a person insensitive and hard. He might hurt people too often to remain popular. On the other hand, being completely driven by the current state can make a person take big decisions based on short-term problems. It might lead to depression, sadness, loneliness and what not.

A balance between both the characteristics of the person is the solution to these problems. I personally don't have any solution for them. I'd rather classify myself as too emotion driven. I lose control due to this, sometimes. I am still trying to overcome it. Its something like a war in my mind. And the enemy is also me. God save me!

Ciao. 

Category: Moods, Thoughts  One Comment
What do you need eyes for?

"If you loved me, you wouldn't care about my looks."

"Looks don't matter, what matters is the heart of the person."

"So, if I stop looking good, you'll stop loving me?"

On one side are words like these spoken by one set of people, and on the other are people who describe beautiful things. I don't know many sentences in support of the other set, but well, all that Windows XP boasts about is an all new LOOK. Everyone who is a little tech-savvy knows that its just Windows 2000 beneath. All this business of modelling, movies, media is about good looks. And then, the other side defends saying, "Dikhawo pe na jao, apni akal lagao".

But, if we think again, is everything which is beautiful, fake? Is there nothing like a real beauty? Can every human being be so purely in love that the looks wont matter at all? And those who think that one of the conditions to love something or someone is that they should look good donot 'actually' love it/him/her. Well, I don't support such a thought.

As far as I know, more than 50% of the brain processing is done for the vision system. Why? Just because god thought it'd be great to do so? Or maybe visual data is too much or something? A more convincing answer is that visual perception is the most effective way of getting information. Even imagining or understanding is a synonym of 'visualizing'. And still people think that visual appearance is not the way to like or love people.

One of the reasons people give about not judging people by looks is that looks aren't in control of the person. But then, thats just the bone structure, height and tissues, complexion. There are a lot of other things that make up looks. The hair, a clean face, the clothing, the freshness, etc, etc. All these are very much under human control. And with plastic surgery and dental science, even the facial structure.

The other reason people give is that when we love someone, we love the person and not his appearance. But then what are the ways you can communicate or get in touch with a person? Touch, voice and vision. People keep saying about its important how someone touches you, or talks to you. Why not how someone looks to you, or looks at you? Gestures which are just 'visible' also form a great amount of interaction between persons. For example, the traffic policeman does gestures with his arms to signal things to you.

If something looks good, like a car or a computer, it can become the only reason why you end up buying it. Are persons less important than these products that we donot use the visual information while judging people? I strongly support the notion that looks do matter and are a very very big factor in human interaction.

And we have very good examples too. What do we see when we are looking in a matrimonial site? Don't we first see the photo than seeing the other details? All the community search engines provide a button "look for profiles with photos only", why?

If someone changes the way he/she talks, and begins being rude, we could stop interaction with the person. If someone touches you harshly and hurts you, you might get annoyed with that person. But if the same person dresses shabbily in front of you, or stops looking good, it is assumed that we wont change our attitude. Why? There is no reason why a person, be it a husband/wife or a boyfriend/girlfriend or even a father/son should like the other person in the same way as he/she looked before. Just like the way a person talks to you 'everytime' matters, the way a person touches you 'everytime' matters, the way people look to you 'everytime' should and does matter too.

Category: Thoughts  6 Comments