Author Archive

_UnPrEdictAbLe_

With the excuse of not having anything else to write about, today I’ve decided to talk about – _UnPrEdictAbLe_. Although there is no deep meaning in this word – just a simple English word written in jumbled case.

Let’s begin with confessions first. Who coined this name and why? It all began in college days, when we used to play multi-player network games. Generally, people don’t use their own name in such games – but an alias – something which they think is cool and stylish. Example aliases – _skp, P@in Killer, _UnPrEdictAbLe_, oBeLiX.

Contrary to the name, I’m always very predictable – be it the computer games or real life. Then why do I use this name? Perhaps I want to prove myself cool and different, which almost “everyone” does. Yes – I won’t deny – it is one of the reasons.

Our whole life is centered around faith and more often than not, things work out as we expect them to. What? You disagree? Think again. Imagine the day you were late for the last bus to office – only to miss the most important meeting of that month. Well, standing in front of your boss, while he is screaming on top of his voice, you’d feel the entire universe is conspiring against you.

However, how many of your faiths were actually shaken that day? The sun rose, oxygen content of air remained normal, temperature of your city remained hospitable, social atmosphere was peaceful, your alarm clock rang, your cellphone alarm rang, city buses plied normally, traffic situation was smooth, … and so on. You wasted (let’s suppose) most of the time searching for door keys – which were “unexpectedly” sitting under the sofa – isn’t it such a setback to your faith in the world?

I live in an unpredictable world where a small thing – like a door key – can have huge ramifications on the course of events. That is why I don’t believe in promises. I can’t promise that I’ll be there for you; I’ll live up to your expectations; I’ll save you from all problems; I’ll be the perfect employee; I’ll never hurt you.

The only thing I can always be certain about is my inner self. I can promise that I’ll always have the best intentions to fulfill the promises you want me to make. However, the outcome of any event isn’t just dependent on my intentions or actions. THE OUTCOME is a mixture of various external factors which I cannot control, and so I’m not in a position to promise on behalf of all those other factors.

That is why I call myself _UnPrEdictAbLe_.

Broken armor

The depiction of Spartan army in the movie 300 was particularly spectacular. According to Wikipedia, a Spartan would either return victorious or return dead from a battle. If he is missing his shield on return, it was assumed that he had fled the battle, and would be punished with death or imprisonment.

The shield was not just a personal defense mechanism, but a battle strategy used by Spartans. A group of Spartans would form a Spartan phalanx, in which every soldier protects the soldier to his left – an impenetrable formation.

I’ve been accused of switching context in my blog posts very fast, so that there is no connection between beginning and end. Well, you’ve to bear with me, my brain is totally random and so are the thoughts.

Pre-history battle context to present day metropolitan lifestyle – man has always invented (and discovered) shields to safeguard himself and things he cares about. One such invention is the “helmet”. In India, I don’t see much enthusiasm among drivers to use helmets. Perhaps they like their brains to remain free of any cages – like to feel the whiff of fresh air on their bare faces while driving.

I’ve been taught the importance of this device, not in theory but by practical experience. Imagine a long smooth road, traffic flowing at reasonably fast speeds. All thanks to our pro-active government which is always concerned about development of the nation – imagine barricades right in the middle of this road – not static, but being moved around by workers. Car A brakes from 90 kmph to 0, Car B  behind it brakes 80 kmph to 0. Oops, you’re behind that Car B, going at a good 80 kmph – the only problem being you just have two wheels, braking too hard makes you skid.

The distance between Car B and you is constantly reducing. The speed of your bike – 80, 70, 60, 50, 40 – crash! Your bike goes from 40 to 0 in one impulse. As our Newton baba had said, every moving “body” has inertia – according to that rule – “your” body flies off the bike and you hit the car with your head. What do you think – the driver is dead or alive?

Case A: There is no helmet. Just his head and the car. End of story, parents shattered, friends sad, girlfriend broken.

Case B: There is a helmet. A minor sprain on his arm, which gets fine in a week. And one year later, he is sitting and writing a blog post on helmets.

Just like the Spartan world, there is a nominal fine (and even imprisonment) for driving without helmets in most metropolitan cities. However, unlike that era – where the shield was “primarily” for safeguarding – we use helmets just to avoid the fine. Often my friends say, hey why are you taking helmet, we wont be crossing any police post while going to so and so place. The helmet is for your head, not to show to traffic policemen waiting to earn some easy money.

Okay, why is the title “broken armor”? This post is not for any of my readers, but a motivational post for myself. The helmet I use is damaged at multiple points – perhaps doesn’t really protect my head completely. Although I thank
God that it hasn’t been required to do any “protection” in the recent months, however this is a wake up call for me to get a new one as soon as possible. Keeping fingers crossed until then.

Adios.

MP 09

What comes to your mind when you read “MP 09″? Perhaps some serial number? A roll number? Number plate of a vehicle from Madhya Pradesh? The last answer is partly correct.

This is not a number plate, it is a phrase deeply connected to Indore. Its so common that people use it in sentences like “Where does this vehicle belong to? MP 09″.

Since my childhood, I’ve been living in Indore – a good 12 years – 1991 to 2003. What is so special about Indore? Nothing. It’s a “comparatively” small city, with a tiny airport, unclean railway station, crowded bus stand, a few decent malls, good roads here and there, too hot in summer; too cold in winter, power-outages, pollution, corruption, poverty, and so on.

I came to this city from a village (Sardarpur, Dhar) – no English, no etiquette, a total zero. I joined The Daly College, Indore in 1991 – class 1K. I learned new ways, made new friends, perhaps actually started speaking English for the first time here. I touched the first computer of my life in the corridors of this school – perhaps the reason why I became a software engineer lies deeply rooted in this place.

All the childhood mischief, playing cricket on evenings, racing my “un-geared” two wheeler on the roads, playing pranks – and then double crossing our allies to play a double prank – the golden days of my life perhaps. In that mischief, I found some of the greatest friends of my life – it’s just pleasantly surprising that my best friends are as old as 17 years – in my small life of 24.

The deeper I dig into memories, I just keep finding more gold in the heart of Indore – that is what it means to me, and much more which I can’t even express.

Anyways, just taking the liberty of completely flipping the topic to something else. The only vehicle that I own is a bike – it’s not hard to guess that it’s MP 09. Driving this bike in Bangalore and Hyderabad has caused me some trouble. Traffic policemen see a source of unlimited income when my bike crosses them on the road. My bike is stopped and checked many many more times than a local bike.

The procedure to stay out of trouble is as complex as it can be. If your bike has been transported to Hyderabad, don’t use it until -

  1. Madhya Pradesh RTO gives a no-objection certificate to drive it in Andhra Pradesh
  2. You pay Andhra Pradesh road tax, which can happen only after 1.

Perhaps it’s a compelling need that I break the rules, because I can’t wait 4 months for Madhya Pradesh RTO to issue a NOC. As a result, when I get “caught”, I don’t have enough documents to prove myself innocent.

Earlier, I used to be scared about the whole thing. I used to literally beg to be released, at whatever cost I need to pay. Then I realized, it’s not such a big deal. It’s only a small mistake, for which I need to pay a nominal fine, and then I can just go.

Coming to today, a similar thing happened. I was stopped and asked for documents. I promptly declared that I don’t have a NOC and I haven’t paid the road tax. The policeman started saying that they’ll seize my vehicle and I can collect it from court after paying fine. Cooperating, I readily removed the bike key from key-chain and handed it to him.

Then I inquired, what was the fine amount. He asked me what I wanted to pay. Smiling back I said, “Is it not a fixed amount according to some rule? How do I get to decide it?”. I asked him to let me know the fine, and I’ll pay that. Perhaps confused by my behavior, he suggested that I go talk to his senior.

The senior policeman asked me where my documents are, did I have a valid driving license. I showed all documents to him, again declaring that I don’t have a NOC, and didn’t pay the tax. He asserted that I need to get the NOC and pay the tax soon. I sarcastically commented saying “Sir, I don’t run the MP government. How can I control when will they issue a NOC? It has already been 4 months of waiting. I went to the RTO to pay the tax, but they need the NOC, I really can’t do much.”

“Ok, then you need to pay a fine.”

“How much is the fine amount, sir?”

“It varies. Depends, sometimes its 300, sometimes its 500, depends on the case.”

“Ok sir, whatever is the fine amount, I’m ready to pay.”

“How much will you pay?”

“(Confused) Whatever is the fine amount, sir”

“So you are sure you want to pay the fine? It’s valid only for one day.”

“Yes sir, I’ll pay the fine. And you can give me a receipt for it.”

“Ok, you need to go to the main police station to pay. Let’s go?”

“Ok sir, let’s go there.”

“So you are sure you want to pay the fine?”

“Yes sir.”

*another 10 minutes of back and forth*

“Um.. ok, this is your first time. But you need to pay the fine next time. Go now.”

“Ok, thank you sir.”

I didn’t know that being truthful and clean was so beneficial. Perhaps sometimes one has to pay a costly fine, instead of a cheap bribe – but I think it is much more satisfying and fulfilling to our souls than being a coward who bribes his way out on every corner. It also reminds the corrupt officials that they are doing wrong (or that they wont be able to earn any bribe from us), and more often than not, they just let you go without any fine or bribe!

Let’s all pledge to avoid bribing, as much as it’s humanly possible. I know we are all imperfect and weak human beings, but we should never give up trying to be better than what we are.

Adios.

If I had a time machine…

From the days when man was a ape to the modern day, our species has won many battles, reached newer heights, conquered the whole earth per say and achieved more than what any other animal (or plant) on our planet could ever imagine (if they had the brains to).

In this race to excel, we’ve overcome the barrier of physical distances (at least on earth if not across planets) to a great extent. However, the fourth dimension – time – still remains untouched. Time keeps running at its own pace, we can’t stretch it or shrink it, rewind or forward it. I don’t want to commit a mistake by saying it is impossible to conquer time, because we never know what the future holds for our civilization.

Anyways, this is not a scientific discussion. Its about a simple question – If I had a time machine, what would I do with it? The cursor kept blinking on the question mark for quite a while before I could think of an answer. I literally had a really speedy flashback of my entire life.

The first instinct to this question is to think about our mistakes and accidents, all the mishaps that occurred in our lives. Which one should I go fix? The day I got this scar near my eye; the day I had a bitter fight; the day I did something wrong; the day I killed a baby squirrel; the day … well, a lot of private stuff.

Psychologically speaking (this is purely my theory, although I’ve zero knowledge of the domain), if you’d want to go back and correct an event in your life, perhaps it means that you’ve not completely accepted and internalized it. You still have some grudges, regrets, feelings (related to that event) left deep within you, perhaps suppressed even.

Then it occurred to me, what about the happy moments of my life? I cherish and remember so many of them. Wouldn’t it be fun and thrilling to live them again? My childhood days and all the mischief I did; my school days; that playing in the rain without any tension; catching baby sparrows and playing with them; my college days; … and again a lot of private stuff.

If you want to go and live your happy moments, perhaps it means that the present isn’t so wonderful. You want to run away from the present and live the (so called) golden days of the past. It clearly highlights the dissatisfaction with your present life.

I don’t want to deny that I’ve grudges with my past life or the fact that perhaps it was much better than the present day. However, on the whole, I feel there is no single thing that I’d want to go back and change. The mistakes that were committed taught me something useful, the happy moments I lived are safe in my heart and make me smile each time I remember them. The present is awesome too, and I’m trying to make it better each day.

Anyways, before I conclude, just a small random scientific funda I came up with.

Time is a tricky thing. We think we could just go and visit the past happily, and alter it as we want. However, just like the three dimensions of distance, time is something beyond comprehension of our minds. The biggest justification that we cannot change past is the fact that it has not changed already. If we were to go back in time, and change something using a time machine, every time you live today’s date, the past should be consistently the same. What we’re living today is the sum total of the past and the alterations made by us in the past using a time machine. Hence, this is the only past that can ever be, none other would ever occur.

Adios.

Waka waka – This time for Africa

All around, people are drowned in Fifa World Cup 2010 fever. I’m not such a big soccer fan as such, but I liked the official video. Apart from being happy and energetic, it sends a motivational message to soccer players; and to all people in general. Without boring you more, here is the song, and partial lyrics.

YouTube Preview Image (lyrics)

You’re a good soldier
Choosing your battles
Pick yourself up
And dust yourself off
And back in the saddle

You’re on the frontline
Everyone’s watching
You know it’s serious
We’re getting closer
This isnt over

The pressure is on
You feel it
But you’ve got it all
Believe it

When you fall get up
Oh oh…
And if you fall get up
Oh oh…

Power outage

This is perhaps a time when I’m least expected to write a blog post. It feels like I’m living a life dedicated to work – the day starts with work emails, code reviews, scripts, tickets – even before my teeth get their daily brCandle lightushing. All along the road, on every curve, I’m just imagining my work algorithms – sometimes barely missing dangerous accidents. The whole day I’m floating on this cloud of work, hopping from one task to another. I leave early to avoid traffic, only to have more time to work from home.

I couldn’t exaggerate more on this issue  (although there is barely any). About half an hour ago, I was busy working, when suddenly something great happened – a power outage. In this hot weather and dark night, in an empty house, perhaps its the last thing anyone would want. Contrary to all this, I felt relieved and happy. A power outage had given me those few moments when I could be with myself only – no work, no chat, no twitter, no internet, no television, not even light to look at the room – practically an exclusive ME time.

I feel rejuvenated and ready to take on the world. A long night of work awaits, am sure its going to be fun!

Adios.

Life update – March 2010

Sometimes life goes on,  days; weeks; months pass, and we fail to take notice. Time and again, I’ve a tendency to retrospect. Whether or not I  use the conclusions to adjust my life’s direction – no written rules.

For me, leaving Bangalore felt as if I am a spider who has been thrown out of its web. Slowly and steadily, I’ve started knitting a niche of life in Hyderabad. Work seems worthwhile and I look forward to make a difference each day – at work and otherwise.

So where is my life going? What are the next steps? I’ve never been able to answer this question – never in my lifetime. I didn’t become an engineer because I had planned to. I just genuinely developed liking for computers in my early years, and chose the direction my heart guided me toward. If I had listened to my mind, I would have been a doctor. Anyways, the point is, my life is going where my heart dictates..

It has been an enriching experience to get in touch with Devansh again (FYI he’s pursuing PhD in Humanities). We keep having frequent discussions on a lot of issues – can a robot feel; being aware of ‘self’; intention vs action – to name a few, most discussions revolving around human beings, their minds and phenomenon associated with them.

The most recent one – intention vs action. We were discussing my last post “Pinch of salt“. We concluded that generally we judge people by their actions, but whenever we try to justify ourselves (in others’ eyes or our own), we judge us by our intentions. “He DID this” compared to “I DID this, BUT I INTENDED to do that”.

In his opinion, if someone doesn’t live upto our expectations, there can be two reasons – wrong intentions, incompetence. In case we know that the person is incompetent (for example a small kid drops a glass), we don’t get hurt or angered. However, if we believe that the person is competent, but his intentions were wrong, we get hurt. More often than not, people intend to do good,  but aren’t skilled enough to achieve it. If we look at the world with this perspective, it feels like a much better place to live in.

Anyways,  coming back to the original topic, I’ve started to enjoy life here. Parag and gang play squash on weekends – I’m learning it too (though my leg injury is preventing me from playing too much, but I’ll be fine soon).

I’m eagerly waiting to go home, although that can happen only in May. I’ve a newly born nephew, but unfortunately I can’t see him in this state for real. The next home trip is going to be awesome – 65 days to go, 64.99999, 64.99998 … :)

PS: I hope everyone has my new cell phone number in Hyderabad. Or just ask. :D

Adios.

Pinch of salt

Thought, its such a transient thing. Every second we get thoughts – good thoughts, bad thoughts, happy and sad thoughts, deep thoughts, cheap thoughts, silly thoughts, naughty thoughts, noble thoughts, cunning thoughts … and miscellaneous thoughts.

A stable human being has a stream of thoughts, flowing in an approximately streamlined direction. That direction points towards his beliefs, opinions, principles, morals, knowledge and so on. Basically everything from his opinion on the Iraq war to would you jump a traffic signal if no one is watching?

Everyone (at least most people) makes a lot of definite statements among their friends, family and colleagues.

“Whatever happens, I wont support corruption!”

“I will never ever leave my girlfriend.”

“I will never be untruthful to you.”

“I will give up my life, if its required, to protect you.”

Perhaps while making those statements we really believed in them, or just wanted to impress others by saying it. In either case, quite often we contradict our statements by our own actions. Funny example, I keep saying against corruption eating away our country’s progress, I keep howling on evil politicians and businessmen, but when a traffic policeman catches my bike, …. shhh.

The point is, I’m just human. And most creatures I’ve to deal with are human too. So, every statement I hear, from anyone’s mouth including mine, might not be true. Even though at that point of time, a person fully believes in something, it might change over time, or just circumstances could force them to.

So, take it with a pinch of salt.

PS: This doesn’t apply to mathematics, that’s just something so pure and definite. :)

PS2: Apparently when I use elevators; bungee jumping and all those risky stuff, I don’t fully believe in their safety. I really don’t want to be in news like – “A young man died in an elevator, when a rare case of elevator cable snapping happened. Its important to note that this happens only once in a trazillion times. … “

2 more minutes please!!

Our life is finite, it ends one day. Male or female, Indian or American, born in the 20th century or 15th, they all have to die one day. Imagine that life is a big game you’re playing, and everyone’s final age is already fixed. God is standing with a timer, one for everyone.

One day he will come, and blow a whistle, and shout “Time up!”. As usual (like we always do in competitions, races and exams), we’ll say, “God, just 2 more minutes please!!!”. If you’re lucky, perhaps he will give you those two minutes.

Can you imagine what will you do in those two minutes?

Disclaimer: Perhaps death will just come, without warning.

PS: Not looking for a really philosophical or emotional answer, just something plain and simple.

PS2: Someone said, I’ll snatch God’s stopwatch and run!

Just a thought.

Lt s try t tlk wtht vwls. ts fn! m b mkng sns?

I wish my chat client had a plug-in to type like this. :)